Alright, childrens, listen up- today we're gonna have a lesson about how to beat the man at his own game. I knows you enjoy collecting cards, and Homey collected cards at one time, too. In fact, if it weren't for collecting credit cards, I would have never gone to prison.
Now, the Man is asking $11.99 plus $2.99 for shipping for an Atlanta Braves High Number three-card team set from Heritage. The Man wants Homey to think that he has to have it at all costs- even if it puts Homey in the poor house. The Man wants Homey to think that these are extremely limited, but that's just another lie perpetrated by the Man. Homey knows better- hell, I produced fewer license plates while locked up in the pen. He must think I'm a damn fool. Fifteen bucks for a three card set?! [WHACK!!!!]
I don't think so; Homey don't play that.
So, to beat the Man, lil' childrens, we're going to play a card game I call "lowball." First, we're going to head over to Chez Whitey and click on the Man's item- making him think that we're going to pay his exorbitant prices. Next, we're going to offer not the $9.98 that the Man is hoping we will offer; no- we're going to go in with a $6.75 lowball offer. After all, Homey's got mouths to feed and I've got my dignity to think about. I ain't no fool.
Well, lookie here, childrens. Our offer has been accepted! We're gonna be able to add this set to Homey's collection. Now, sing along with me....
Homey D. Collector. Don't mess around. Even though the Man kicks him to the ground.
One day Homey will be fed up with it all and will stop buying all the crap that the Man throws his way, 'cuz Homey don't play....