Friday, March 25, 2016

Food-Issue Friday: Bananas, Blackberries and a Donut

Hobbyists were buzzing yesterday about the re-entry of Food-Issues into the hobby.  Granted, it is Walmart pizza... but hey, beggars can't be choosers. Right?

I told my wife this rapturous news and how I wanted to make a special trip to Wally's World. Tomorrow's (Friday) pizza day (family tradition) so let's do that, I practically begged. She could tell how desperate I was and replied, "it'll taste just like the cardboard those cards are made out of" and left it at that. Bless her heart.

So off to the store I went, man on a mission.

Once there, I immediately began searching. First near the deli. Nothing. Head over to the frozen food island near the meats. Nope. *Hey, there's my wife's friend ____*

I don't know if my wife's friend even knows who I am, but in case she does, I decided to walk towards the back of the store. My only explanation for this was that it was some subconscious thing because she's an attractive redhead and I've always found redheaded women attractive. And I don't want to come across as one of those weird, card-obsessed middle-aged men at the big box store.

Once I felt enough time had passed I headed back up to the frozen food aisle. There was plenty of frozen pizza in the freezers, but none of the Marketside crap brand. Damn.

I was getting this sick feeling in my stomach because it was becoming clear that I had made a wasted trip. Let me state for the hundredth time on this blog that I can't stand Walmart. I don't like their business model, I don't like the crowds, I don't like that I have to wait thirty minutes in line for 2 items.

Anyway, before leaving I decided I had at least buy something for my trouble, so I head over to get some fresh fruit. I grabbed some blackberries and turned around to get some bananas... there's Red. I quickly look up into the horizon, as to not make eye contact, and that's when I saw it:

 Marketside Pizza.

I walked a few feet to my right to the area where the donuts were and picked out a pastry as I waited for Red and her son to leave the area. Once they walked on, I headed over to hoard every box of Marketside Pizza I could get my grubby hands on. Only problem: THERE'S NO PACKS OF CARDS included!!!


*Obligatory Card Scans*

At that moment a light bulb went off in my head: Card Aisle! Might as well pick up a pack or two.

Well, only if I want to look like I'm stalking Red, who was there in line right next to the cards.

Maybe next time.

I'll just settle for some bananas, blackberries and a donut.


  1. Card-obsessed? Sure. Weird? Have you seen what else is out there, particularly in Walmart? Also, I'll have you know I've been told I look very young for my age.

    1. All in good fun, Greg! But you're right - all kinds are to be found at Walley world. And let's face it- we are middle aged at this point in the game...

  2. I seem to score all the stuff early. I think I'll hit Walmart for some pizza later.

  3. I too left Walmart pizza and cardless yesterday. Of course, I didn't have to play covert, ninja warrior to escape the place though, so I guess I had that going for me!